Sorrows of Adoration Page 8

  “Today? I can barely stand!” Not that standing was truly the problem—I was just nervous about the entire idea and wished to put it off as long as possible.

  “He knows that, Aenna, and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t expect you to get out of your sickbed and kneel before him. I realize to you he’s the King, but to me, he’s just my father. He’s a good man, and he doesn’t judge people for silly things that are out of their control. He’s wiser than that.”

  “What if he dislikes me? What if I say something foolish?”

  “Aenna, you’re a bright lady. You’ll do fine.”

  I sighed heavily. It was silly to try to avoid this—sooner or later I’d have to meet this man. But it was not every day that someone of my low station was introduced on a personal level to their King. I feared he would find me immediately unworthy of his son. I was not, however, about to deny it, for that would be foolish and presumptuous.

  “Very well. When is this to occur?” I asked.

  Kurit looked to the elegant brass and wood clock mounted near the window. “Uh, in about five minutes.”

  “Five minutes!” I cried. “I’m a disaster! Tash hasn’t even let me have a full and proper bath yet, and my hair is a revolting mess, and I’m wearing a nightdress in bed! By the Temple, Kurit, he’s going to find me revolting!” I started to pull the blankets to the side in an effort to get out of the bed, which I had not yet done on my own. I felt a little shaky as I stood, but certainly much stronger than I had since my injury. I had grown used to the pain in my shoulder, and it no longer bothered me so long as I was careful when I moved.

  I started walking to the dresser, desperate to at least brush and pin the mop that was my hair. Kurit was already on his feet, trying to get me to lie back down.

  “No,” I said frantically. “Go now—I need to change. Do I even have a dress to change into? Curse this hair, it’s disgusting!” I hurriedly began to brush it, not caring when the tangles were roughly yanked.

  “Aenna, you don’t need to worry about all this. He doesn’t care how you look! He just wants to meet you. You look fine!”

  “You know I have been desperately waiting to be able to take a real bath. You know how ashamed I am to feel unkempt like this!” Having finished brushing one side with my good arm, I tried to brush the other half of my hair by reaching around, but bending my head sufficiently hurt a great deal, and I could not help but wince.

  “That’s enough, Aenna. You’re going to hurt yourself, and there’s no reason!” Kurit exclaimed, trying to pull me back to the bed as there came a knock at the door.

  I froze. Kurit opened the door, and in walked a handsome, older man of medium height with great wide shoulders. His hair was a mixture of black and dark grey. He looked nothing like Kurit, and I dared to hope this was not his father.

  “Is everything all right in here? I could hear a bit of a commotion from the hall,” said the man in a voice that was quiet yet resonated deeply throughout the room.

  “It’s fine, Father. Aenna was concerned that she did not look her best to meet you, and I was trying to convince her that you wouldn’t care.”

  I turned a deep shade of red and prayed that the floor would open beneath me. Kurit’s father turned to me and nodded politely. “You needn’t have gone to the trouble, my dear.”

  “She was afraid you would find her unworthy,” Kurit said as he tried to guide me back to the bed.

  “Don’t tell him that!” I said to Kurit, then realized I had just given an order to the Prince in front of the King, and became even more flustered and ashamed. “Oh, I didn’t mean to sound like that!” For some absurd reason, my mind decided that that would be a good time to curtsey, but my legs didn’t agree and I began to fall over.

  Kurit was beside me, so he caught me as I fell but inadvertently pulled my left arm upwards in the process, which, of course, hurt. Despite myself, I cried out, and in panic, Kurit dropped me the rest of the way to the floor. I landed roughly, making an “oof” sound.

  King Tarken came to my aid just as Kurit did the same. I looked at one, then the other, and then, just because it was the most insane, ridiculous thing I could possibly have done in that moment, I laughed.

  Hearing myself do so was a bit of a shock, and I quickly clamped my hands over my mouth. Kurit and Tarken looked at me strangely and with worry. Again, I could not help but laugh.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, trying to control myself. But the more I realized how foolish I must have looked, the funnier it became, and I laughed again.

  “Did you hit your head, Aenna?” Kurit said as they both helped me gently to my feet.

  “No,” I said, forcing myself to stop laughing. “I just feel like such a fool. You must think me mad,” I said to the King. “I’m so sorry, really, I don’t know why I’m laughing. It’s insane, I know. I mean no disrespect.”

  “Hush, dear,” Tarken said. “You’re panicking for no reason. I did not come to judge you. Come now, you should be in bed.”

  “Aenna, you’re bleeding,” Kurit fretted.

  Sure enough, fresh blood had seeped through the shoulder of the nightgown. The two men walked me quickly back to the bed, and Kurit ran to fetch Tash.

  And so I was left alone in a room with King Tarken of Keshaerlan. I had no notion as to what to say, especially after the ridiculous performance I had just given. I covered my face with my hands, horribly embarrassed, certain that he would now tell me that under no circumstances was I going to be allowed to marry his son.

  “I’m sorry if my visit has upset you,” he said.

  “No, Your Majesty, it’s my fault. What an awful mess I’ve made of things! I wouldn’t blame you if you sent me away immediately for seeming to be such a raving lunatic.” Behind my hands, tears began to fall.

  “I did not come to pass judgment on you. I simply wished to meet the girl who has my son’s heart so enthralled that he can speak of nothing else but how magnificent you are.” He touched my arm softly, prompting me to move my hands from my face. “What is it that makes you so nervous?”

  I looked at him incredulously. “I’m a peasant meeting a King. What isn’t there to be nervous about? You’re going to tell me that I shall certainly not be allowed to marry Kurit, aren’t you?”

  “That, my dear, is a complicated issue, and one we shall all discuss together calmly and rationally when you are well. Peasant or not, you’ve clearly impressed my son, and I did not raise him to make foolish choices. There will, however, be no more of his spending time in this room alone with you. It is unseemly. I’ve arranged for a maidservant to be assigned to you by tomorrow.” He picked up a clean handkerchief from the dresser and handed it to me. “Now do please dry your tears before Kurit gets back and thinks I’ve done something awful to you.”

  No sooner had he spoken the words than Kurit entered again with Tash behind him. The physician gave me a reproachful look and asked the others to leave.

  After ensuring I had not torn the stitches, Tash gave me a lengthy lecture on my need to remain in bed and adhere to his directives. As he left, he readmitted Kurit.

  “I’m not supposed to stay in here alone with you,” Kurit said. “Father says it would reflect poorly upon you. So until you have a maidservant, I can’t stay. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t hurt.”

  “My shoulder is fine, although I can’t explain what madness overtook my mind. Kurit, I hope I haven’t ruined everything.”

  “What, with Father?” He made a wry face and said, “He found you amusing. I told you, he’s a good man. He seemed worried that he had upset you. Trust me, if he had hated you or found you immediately unworthy, he’d have said so when we spoke as Tash tended to you. He’s a man of few words, but when he does speak he means what he says. Don’t worry about him. He’s bound to adore you.” With that, Kurit kissed my cheek and left the room.

  * * *

  That evening as I sat up in the bed after eating a delicious dinner, a beautiful, dark-haired young wo
man knocked and entered, carrying what appeared to be several dresses over one arm.

  “Pardon me, Lady Aenna, I hope that I have not disturbed you. I am Leiset,” she said, curtseying delicately. “I have been assigned to serve as your maidservant, if you should approve.”

  I felt the urge to laugh at the thought of having a maidservant, but I didn’t wish to offend her so I pressed my lips together tightly and said nothing.

  She put the pile of clothing over the back of the chair at the dresser. “I know you’re too weak still to rise and try any of these on, but I wanted to have something on hand for you when you are well enough. Of course, you are to have a wardrobe of your own made for you eventually, but, well, it has all been rather short notice, hasn’t it? I hope you don’t find it presumptuous, but I took the liberty of selecting some of the tailor’s general fare for the time being. His Highness told me you are close to my height, but quite …” She seemed unsure how to continue.

  “Larger?” I suggested, noting that she was rather willowy.

  She smiled kindly and said, “His word was curvaceous. So I selected several dresses that I thought ought to fit well enough until you have your own made. If you would like, I shall hold them up for you, and whichever you dislike I shall return to the tailor immediately.”

  I nodded.

  She picked up the top dress from the pile and held it against herself. It was a dusty pink, with full sleeves that were pleated at the top to give the gown a soft look. The neckline was modestly high, and the dress flared at the bottom.

  “It’s beautiful,” I said.

  “It’s not bad but rather dowdy,” she said, approaching the bed with it. “And the colour, oh dear, no, not with your hair. I apologize, my Lady. I had not taken that into account. I assumed your hair was dark, but I should not have, for I’ve seen red-haired Aleshans before. His Highness failed to mention it. Men never think about how colours clash.” She went back to the pile, dropping the first gown on the dresser. She flipped through the other dresses, automatically disqualifying several of similar colours. From the bottom she pulled a deep blue gown, simple in design with short sleeves and a high collar. She brought it to my bedside, and I reached out to touch the lovely fabric. It was soft and rich, unlike any material I had ever handled.

  “This colour suits you very well, if I may say so, my Lady. The pattern is simplistic, I know, but …” Leiset trailed off, noticing my reaction. The full impact of what was occurring had hit me with the touch of that luxurious fabric. These elegant gowns, they were the simple starters that this woman hoped I would suffer whilst my own dresses were made. My own dresses. I had never owned more than two at any time in my life, and here was presented to me a choice of no less than ten. A month before I would have considered this dress she held for me to be an unrealistic dream—perhaps an unaffordable treasure seen in a merchant’s caravan. Now this woman, who called herself my maidservant, was presenting me clothing greater than I ever would have prayed for. I was overwhelmed and struck by quiet tears of disbelief and gratitude.

  “My Lady, have I offended you?” Leiset asked.

  I looked at her with empathy, wanting to explain that she had done nothing wrong, but I was at a loss for words and could not make my hand let go of the soft fabric.

  “Forgive me. I should have realized that you were not feeling well enough for this tonight. Shall I take them away, Lady Aenna?”

  “No,” I said. “It’s so beautiful. I’ve never had anything so beautiful. By rights, you shouldn’t call me ‘Lady’. Living in the palace, you are of higher station than I.”

  Leiset looked at me strangely and said, “But you are to marry Prince Kurit, are you not?”

  “Yes, but despite his kind words, I’m still a peasant girl. Less than a month ago I was a barmaid. Did you know that?”

  “It was the rumour I had heard, my Lady, yes. But that is of no importance. You’re the betrothed of the Prince. It is not my place to judge who you may have been before today, my Lady.”

  “I’m the same person I was then. I would not have been deemed qualified then to be your maidservant, let alone have one myself. To be quite blunt, I am rather uncomfortable with the title. I know nothing of being a Lady.” I let go of the dress finally, moving my hand to my forehead, where an uncomfortable ache had begun. I sighed and said, “He’s mad to think I shall ever fit into this world.”

  Leiset set the beautiful blue dress down gently on the back of the chair and then brought me a handkerchief with which to dry my cheeks. I thanked her and pressed it to my face.

  “Are you unwell? Shall I fetch the physician?” she asked quietly.

  “No,” I said, dropping my hand and the handkerchief to my lap. I rolled my eyes at the thought of another lecture and said, “I’d rather see him as little as necessary.”

  Leiset tried to hide a smile. “You’ve been subjected to one of his speeches, I assume.”

  “One? Several,” I muttered.

  Leiset covered her mouth with her hand, trying not to laugh, and the sight made me laugh myself, which in turn I tried to hide for decency’s sake, knowing it was impolite to laugh about someone who was not present. But it was too late, for the more each of us tried to suppress the giggles, the funnier it became, until we both sat on the bed red-faced with laughter.

  Leiset managed to gain control over herself first, and pressing her hands together as if in prayer, said, “Oh, it’s wicked of me to laugh at him. But he is such an autocrat, isn’t he? I suppose he’s entitled, since he’s very good at what he does. He’s healed people who were otherwise doomed to die. But, Lady Aenna, you should hear how he speaks down to even the King. It’s almost treasonous!”

  I smiled at her. I had only just met her, but already I had decided I liked her very much. Enough, in fact, that I was quite uncomfortable with the idea of her serving beneath me. That just simply was not right, and I tried to explain that to her.

  “Would you rather have someone else assigned to you then?” she asked.

  “No, not at all! But could you not refer to me with a title? At least not just yet. I’m sorry if that’s inappropriate, but truly, it makes me nervous.”

  “It is only inappropriate if you deem it so, Lady—I mean, Aenna. I shall call you whatever you request me to. Though it would only be wise for me to address you formally in public.”

  “Also, I am used to caring for myself. All of this concern while I’ve been injured, it’s been very nice and I appreciate it, but I’m not about to go ordering anyone to serve me.”

  Leiset nodded, seeming to understand how I felt. I thought perhaps she was imagining herself in my place and could thus understand how strange and awkward it all was. “I shall try not to make you feel waited upon, then, but I am here to work for you. You shouldn’t feel that it is putting me out to ask me to do something for you, for that’s my job. Why, if you were to go fetch yourself a meal in the kitchen, the poor cooks would be mortified, thinking that you had come to scold them!”

  “I wouldn’t scold them at all! The food I’ve had has been better than anything I’ve been privileged to eat before.”

  “It may well be, but there’s a structure to life in the palace. The royalty do not tend to daily concerns such as fetching meals, drawing baths, arranging schedules, and the like. They have other important things to worry about.”

  “But I’m not royalty,” I replied.

  “You will be, Aenna. When you marry the Prince.”

  I sighed heavily. There it was again—the knowledge that I was not ready for this world. “It’s all too much. It’s all so foolish and ridiculous, like a bard’s tale for children.” I said.

  Leiset put a gentle hand on my arm and said, “I cannot imagine how difficult it must be, to go from being a humble barmaid to the bride-to-be of the Prince. But that shall be part of my job, to help you prepare for that. You will take lessons in geography and economics and the like—the sort of lessons that daughters of nobility are raised with as child
ren. I have worked in the palace all of my life, my mother having been the cousin to a wealthy nobleman. I can help you learn what you need to know, and I would be honoured to do so.”

  I smiled at her. “I must have done something very right in the eyes of the Gods that I would be blessed first with Kurit’s love and now with a kind friend such as yourself. I am allowed to think of you as a friend, aren’t I?”

  She nodded. “If it pleases you, then I would appreciate it, yes.” After a moment of silence, she said, “Now shall I continue with the dresses, or are you too tired? It is a late hour already.”

  I told her I’d rather continue the next day, when hopefully I’d be allowed to be out of bed long enough to actually try them on and see them in the daylight from the window. She agreed, tidied up the pile left to be decided upon, and bade me goodnight as she left with those dresses that had been rejected.

  Chapter 5

  IT WAS NOT long until I was back on my feet more often than I was in bed. The blue dress Leiset had shown me fit, although it was rather snug around the chest and upper arms. I loved it so much, though, that we asked the tailor to make one suited to my measurements.

  The first day I wore the dress was to be the day I would first be allowed to walk about the palace. Kurit arrived at my door in the early afternoon just as Leiset finished pinning my hair into an elegant style that I could never have achieved on my own.

  Kurit beamed as I rose to face him, his face lit up with some mysterious joy.

  “What is it, Kurit? You look positively boyish,” I said.

  He shrugged mischievously. “Am I less a man today?”

  “No.” I laughed. “Not at all. It’s rather endearing.”

  “Perhaps it’s because I have a gift for you.”

  “A gift?” I couldn’t imagine what he would have for me, and I saw nothing in his hands. “Why?”

  “A man shouldn’t need a reason to bring gifts to his beloved. Here,” he said, pulling a small packet from his pocket. He opened it in front of me and poured into his hand a pretty gold chain with an exquisitely wrought gold pendant in the shape of two entwined hearts.