Sorrows of Adoration Read online

  “I stormed back through the palace, shouting orders to have my horse and travel gear readied immediately. Of course, by that time everyone was buzzing about what was going on, and …” He stopped and sighed a very frustrated sigh. “And that’s when my mother approached me. She said she regretted not having had the chance to meet you, but now that you were gone, it was time for me to calm down and go on with my life.

  “By then Jarik had joined the discussion and suggested we further question Leiset. He and I went back, found her still sitting on the tower steps, and demanded to know everything—why you had left, what you had said, if there was any hint as to what direction you may have gone. She was reluctant to say anything, clearly wanting to respect your wishes, but I pulled rank and ordered her to tell me. So don’t be angry with her, Aenna, because she only told me what she did when I forced her to do so.

  “Leiset told me that you had met my mother, and it infuriated me that mother had expressed regret over not meeting you in such a blunt lie. I knew immediately that that meant she had said something to send you away. When Leiset told me that Mother actually ordered you away, I was ready to storm out of the palace again, but Jarik stopped me. He refused to let me out of the tower until I calmed down, at which point we decided that it would be foolish of me to storm out looking for you only to have Mother convince Father to send the Guard out to drag me back home. So Jarik offered to go look for you.”

  “That wasn’t the only reason,” Jarik said. “It would not have been safe for you to run about wildly. Not as we had just quelled that little skirmish in Alesha. That was where I decided to look for you first, in case you had tried to return home.”

  Kurit nodded. “Jarik left that night because we were afraid you might not have considered the danger of returning. But of course you were not so foolish and had gone the other direction entirely. So Jarik rode from town to town along the main roads looking for you, asking if you had been seen.”

  “We put up proclamations in several cities offering a reward to anyone who could provide us with sound information as to your whereabouts,” said Jarik.

  “But Mother found out about that and ordered them torn down.”

  “Eventually,” said Jarik, “I was fortunate enough to be passing through Mikilrun, and the Gods clearly wanted you found, for there before me was a woman with red hair, quite unusual in these parts, sweeping the steps of the inn. I watched long enough to be certain it was you.”

  “He rode fast back to Endren, told me he’d found you, and we rushed here.”

  “After telling King Tarken that Kurit needed a hunting trip to get his mind off of you,” Jarik mentioned.

  “Yes, which was a fitting excuse, for I constantly brooded for you, refusing most of the time to even speak to my mother. When I made the foolish mistake of thinking that perhaps I could speak sensibly to her, she kept talking about Sashken. ‘Isn’t Sashken lovely, isn’t she so very well-bred,’ Mother would say. I told her bluntly that I despised Sashken and that she could stop trying to make that marriage happen, because it never would. She said my silly, childish behaviour would tear the nation apart if I didn’t get my head together.”

  “But wait,” I said, interrupting. “You said you were going hunting? So nobody knows I’m on my way back with you?”

  Kurit shook his head.

  I sighed heavily. “That will certainly not make things easier when we arrive.”

  “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” Kurit asked worriedly. He moved his arms a bit closer around me.

  “No, but …” I sighed again.

  Kurit pulled me towards him in full embrace. “Don’t fret, Aenna. I won’t let her send you away again. And I won’t let her berate you any further.”

  “So how do you plan to do this, then?” I asked. “Surely you don’t intend to dance through the door with me on your arm.”

  “Why not?” he asked. “They’ll have to get used to the idea that there is no other woman for me and that I am going to marry you. I don’t require Mother’s approval, so long as Father agrees to it.”

  “Splendid,” I muttered. “He’ll no doubt be furious that you’re flaunting me in your mother’s face and will choose to side with her.”

  “She’s right, Kurit,” Jarik stated. “If you storm in there when we return and demand approval, your father’s likely to think Aenna is causing you to forget civility and thus might not be an appropriate influence.”

  “Well, we can’t live in secret,” replied Kurit.

  “No,” Jarik agreed. “But I have a better idea. When we return to Endren, which will likely be late tomorrow, you go back to the palace on your own. I’ll escort Aenna to the Temple and tell Abbott Jhin the whole story.”

  Kurit burst into laughter, and I gave him a strange look for it. “Sorry, Aenna, but you have to understand that Abbott Jhin and Mother cannot stand each other. He’s the High Abbott in Endren, yet he will not set foot in the palace because she has insulted him far too frequently.”

  “Indeed,” said Jarik, continuing. “He will no doubt be of great help. I’ll ask him to hide Aenna in the Temple for a short time. At dinner the next night, you shall announce that you have decided it is time for you to choose a bride and shall make your decision over the next three days.”

  “Ugh,” Kurit groaned. “Sashken will follow me about me day and night.”

  “Suffer it, Kurit,” Jarik retorted without sympathy. “On that third night at dinner, you shall announce that you have chosen your bride and that no one shall ever come between you. I will be waiting just inside the doors with Aenna, and when I hear your announcement echo down the hall, I shall bring her forth and present her to you.”

  “The Queen will have my head!” I exclaimed.

  “No,” said Kurit, seeming to understand Jarik’s plan. “No, she won’t. She won’t make a public scene. She abhors the very thought.”

  “Precisely,” said Jarik. “There will be some murmuring, a great deal of surprise, but most of those present will applaud your decision because they won’t know what else to do. Then we’ll declare an impromptu celebration, and we take Aenna around the room to introduce her formally to everyone—”

  “And keep Mother away from her.”

  “Yes.”

  “She’ll get to me eventually,” I said. “Celebration or not, at some point in time she’s going to get to me. I don’t relish the thought of what she’ll have to say.”

  “Hopefully by that time I will have ensured Father’s approval,” Kurit said. “Which I don’t think will be a problem, because, honestly, he said he likes you.”

  “After I acted so foolishly?”

  “I told you, he’s a wise man. He could tell that you were nervous, and I think he found your strangely timed laughter rather endearing.”

  I was unconvinced of their plan. It sounded quite elaborate and foolish to me, since it would still inevitably result in Queen Kasha’s fury. But as we rode on, they continued to work out the finer points and discuss it enthusiastically.

  * * *

  We reached an inn just as the sunset was coming to an end. Kurit requested two rooms, one for himself and Jarik and another for me. He was, of course, happily accommodated by the innkeeper.

  I went up to the room to wash my face and brush my hair, feeling rather dusty and unkempt from the travel and having been working hard before it. Kurit and Jarik went to the pub to order a meal for all of us, and I said I would join them soon.

  After making myself more presentable, I hurried back downstairs for the meal. As I entered the pub, I saw them at a table near the back, away from the general rabble. I passed a table of rather drunk and loud ruffians on my way, and one of the lot grabbed my arm as I walked by.

  “Come sit with me awhile, pretty thing,” he sneered, pulling me into his lap.

  My mouth agape in outrage, I promptly shoved my elbow into his ribs. He let me go in surprise, as I expected. I had dealt with such men many times before. I began to
walk away, but unlike most of the drunken fools I’d encountered, who would rightly take rejection with little more than a rude comment, this fiend rose after me.

  He caught my arm again and forcibly swung me around. I tried to twist myself out of his grasp, but he held tight and began pulling me towards him.

  Then he did let go, for the blade of a sword was pointed at his chest. I turned to see Jarik holding the other end and heard him snarl, “The Lady isn’t interested.”

  Kurit was there too, his sword also drawn, sending the room into stunned silence. He held the sword pointed at the man, but a few steps back from Jarik. I went to him, and he put his other arm around me protectively.

  The drunk began to blubber at the sight of the blades. He apologized frantically to Jarik, although the words themselves were largely incoherent.

  “Don’t apologize to me, you filthy mongrel,” Jarik said in a dark voice that made me shudder. “Get on your knees and beg the forgiveness of Lady Aenna, the betrothed of Prince Kurit.”

  The man turned a sickly colour and sank to the floor. He babbled what sounded to be a sincere if not entirely comprehensible apology. As he babbled, Jarik looked at me as if to inquire what I wanted done next.

  “Stop your babbling,” I said to the man, disgusted by him yet pitying him his unexpected predicament. “I could have Lord Jarik run you through for treating me with such disrespect, but fortunately for you I could not stomach such a thing. So get up and go. But the next time you feel the urge to force yourself upon any woman, consider how close to death you came tonight in doing so. The next lady might enjoy seeing her husband cut you down.”

  Jarik lowered his blade, and the man shakily rose to his feet. He apologized again, thanked me for my mercy, and ran from the pub out to the night.

  The quiet room slowly returned to normal as Kurit and Jarik sheathed their swords. Kurit looked at me with great concern and asked if I was all right.

  I nodded and said, “I’ll be fine.”

  Kurit turned to the innkeeper, who began to issue his own profuse apologies. Kurit waved them off and asked that our dinner be brought instead to their room. Of course the innkeeper agreed, so we went upstairs, Kurit’s arm never leaving me.

  When we went into Kurit and Jarik’s room—which was small, yet probably the largest available—Kurit embraced me tightly. It seemed he was more upset than I.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” Jarik asked, also clearly concerned.

  I tried to lighten the mood somewhat by smiling. “Oh, you scared him sufficiently, I should think,” I said. “He’ll think twice about ever treating any woman like that again.” Their worry did not seem to lift at all, so I said, “I should ask if both of you are all right. You look more frightened than I.”

  Kurit embraced me again, even tighter than before. “Aenna, I don’t think you realize what he may have intended.”

  I rose on my toes to kiss his cheek and then stepped out of his embrace to sit in a chair. “Kurit, I’m not naïve.” I chuckled, rolling my eyes. “I know what he wanted. I’ve dealt with his kind before. Most of the time you can dissuade them with a shove or an elbow to the ribs. Some need a kick in a tender spot to get the message. Then when we bring the next ale, we make sure to slip a little rasset powder in their glass. It makes them tired enough to forget chasing us and go sleep their drunkenness off. It happens rather frequently.”

  They looked at me wide-eyed, as if they had no idea that men could be such beasts. “I’m sorry if that shocks you both, but you have to understand, that’s what life is like for a barmaid. Men get drunk. They come after us. We do what we can to keep them away and hope they don’t remember their lust when they wake.”

  “And if they do?” Jarik asked.

  “Most of the time they feel guilty and apologize or pay us extra. Every now and then one gets furious, so they wait until they see you go outside alone, and …” I shrugged, not wanting to be vulgar.

  Kurit realized my implication of rape and went pale. “By the Temple!” he cried, rushing to my side.

  I quickly reassured him. “Don’t worry, Kurit, none of them ever got to me. I’m too smart for them. I know how to avoid them until they tire and leave. You need not fret. I’m still a maiden.”

  “Aenna, that’s not what I was concerned about,” he said emphatically. “Well, yes, I’m as concerned about that as I ought to be, I suppose, but my first thought was that someone had hurt you!” He looked at me with the same worry that I had seen in his eyes when the bolt had been buried in my shoulder. He took my hand and held it against his chest, and I could feel his heart was racing.

  “No, Kurit, it didn’t happen to me. In fact, you must understand, that sort of reaction wasn’t a common occurrence by any means. Most of these men, they’re just drunken fools, and when they sober up they remember their wives who wait for them or their daughters at home, and they feel awful for being such dogs.

  “But it does happen. Even at the inn where I worked in Alesha. I suppose I was lucky,” I said.

  “Luck shouldn’t enter into it,” Jarik grumbled, taking a seat on one of the beds. “Wretched vagrants.”

  “Vagrants?” I repeated. “No, Jarik, it’s not the poor men who are to be feared. Not at the inns where I worked, where the innkeeper wishes to keep a good reputation. It doesn’t do to have unwed mothers in one’s employ. No, both innkeepers for whom I worked would cast out any vagrant who became scurrilous. It was the noblemen who we feared.”

  “Oh, Aenna, really. No nobleman I know of would ever do such a thing,” said Kurit.

  “Now who’s being naïve?” I retorted. “Kurit, they are the worst of the lot! Not most of them, mind you. But of the men who try to have their way with the barmaids, the noblemen are the ones to fear because the innkeeper won’t risk his life or business to stop them, and there is no recourse for the poor girl afterwards.”

  Kurit turned to Jarik, and they exchanged a look of disbelief.

  “You don’t believe me?”

  “Forgive us, Aenna,” Jarik replied hurriedly. “It’s not that we doubt your words, but it’s an alarming thing to hear.”

  “I can’t imagine anyone I know being such a vile cad,” said Kurit.

  “Well, it happens,” I bluntly stated. “They do it because they can, and if she tries to cause trouble afterward, well, it’s his word against hers, and who would you believe? The little peasant tramp who got herself in a fix, or the noble lord who denies it ever happened? My kind are always assumed to be wretched little liars.”

  The two men stared at me uncomfortably, and then both averted their eyes as they realized that I spoke the truth.

  “I never thought of it before,” Jarik quietly admitted, his voice full of shame.

  “Nor I,” said Kurit, but with more anger than Jarik. “Aenna, give me names. I want the names of men who call themselves noble and would do such a thing.”

  “Why?” I asked, looking at him incredulously. “Are you going to ride up to their door and accuse them, with no proof but my word?”

  “Well, I can’t very well sit and do nothing! I had no idea such things occurred!”

  “Kurit, that’s the life of the poor. We live under the whim and rule of the nobility. And most of the time, we’re fine. Not every nobleman who comes to the inn is a brute. I remember once, several years ago, Lord Cael himself stopped at our inn, and he was most kind. He was friendly and courteous, even to myself and the other barmaids. And before he retired, he gave each of us three gold coins. I bought a new dress, which I sorely needed, and we each bought our own hairbrushes, and some scented bath salts, and still had enough left to save for another day.

  “Most of the rest of them come in, have their food and ale, stay the night, and leave without incident. It’s just the rare brute, and honestly, you can’t stop them without following every man to every inn and watching their every move.”

  Jarik sat staring at the wall, shaking his head slowly, in sadness or anger I could not t
ell. “I cannot accept that there is nothing to be done.”

  I realized this was the opportunity to change a great injustice. I had the ear of the future King and his cousin, so I said, “If you truly want to punish them, there is a way that may work.”

  “What is it?” Kurit asked eagerly.

  “I remember one time, a son of a distant province’s lord—don’t ask me his name, I don’t recall it, honestly—he took a fancy to Elaene, my friend, who being rather dim didn’t heed my advice to put the rasset in his wine. He wasn’t even drunk when he dragged her up to his room. There were not many people at the inn that night, just this young lord and his entourage. The other barmaid and I, we wept for Elaene, because we could hear her screams. The innkeeper was angry, but did nothing.

  “But I noticed others who were very upset: his two guards. They were of the King’s Guard, and though they were loyal to the young lord, I saw in their faces a great hatred for him when he returned. They probably had daughters or sisters who work at inns and knew all too well that their own kin might fall prey to the same fate.”

  “So what are you advising, that they be allowed to slay the lord they are sworn to protect?” Jarik asked.

  “No,” I said. “That would be helpful to the poor girl, but if a guard ever misunderstood his lord’s harmless flirting as a potential danger …”

  “Plus we cannot allow the chain of command to degrade. There would be too many other repercussions,” Kurit said as he finally left my side to take a seat of his own.

  “But what if you empowered the King’s Guards to make testimony against the lord whom they serve?” I suggested.

  “How would that help?” Jarik asked.

  “Right now, if that same event occurred today,” I hypothesized, “could those enraged guards have reported to their captain or another lord or whomever what had occurred?”

  “I suppose they could,” Kurit mused, “but if they’ve taken an oath of loyalty, then an honourable man would not break his oath and question his lord’s behaviour.”